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Texte aus meinem alten Blog


A misery circle called happiness



When your pursuit of happiness turns into the root of all your misery.


Being happy is a good thing. Everybody deserves it once in a while. But I see people trying it way too hard. They want to find the one “perfect” color for their second iPad case, the one all-time favorite sweetened mineral water and then they get massively stressed and disappointed if they didn´t accomplished it.


Some people are even looking for "the one perfect” other human matching to their own needs… [crazy what? can you imagine that?! ;) ] Yes, there are some of them among us. And they are the worst. They have reached a final stadium of madness in this odyssey called “the pursuit of happiness”. They have tried to “optimize” every single step of their life and doing this for years, made them think, they should always be looking for a better option that might come along: From the other trousers to be soon on sale, the new model of the cell phone coming out, the other higher job position in the company, up to the choices they want to make for the person they think would be “the perfect one” to fill the “empty hole” in their life.


It is very tragic to mix up pursuit of happiness with pursuit for perfection. But it is even worst, when people are so used to this mechanism of a nonstop looking out for better alternatives, that they extend this pattern to their social life. The crazy thing is, that I see people reaching their goals, getting promoted to their dream job or marrying the perfect wo//man. After a little while their old habit “the pursuit of happiness” starts to kick in again. They start comparing their partner with the other potential candidates around them and they ask themselves: Was it really a good deal to marry this person?Shall I sell off my share (of lifetime)? If yes, when would be the "perfect" time for it? And shall I start looking for a more lucrative and profitable match? And there goes the next round of your odyssey called:


When your pursuit of happiness turns into the root of all your misery.


So, can you say, someone is a victim of his pursuit of happiness?


Can you leave this vicious cycle of misery one day to be truely happy?


What would it look like?


And when are you going to be truely happy?


Or is this a stage beyond reach, like the perfection, which keeps you feel miserable - for good?


Are you that deep into this shit, that you would think, it is just naturall to never reach the "perfection" and still keep trying?


Again, when are you going to be truely happy?


Tick tock, tick tock....




Hewad Laraway


PS:I hope you will reconsider using the word "perfect" in the future after reading this note...



Beyond Death


A compliment beyond death. 


The highest and most valuable compliment I can make to a great person or maybe to something like a beautiful poem, music, piece of art etc. is not just because of its mind blowing awesomeness, beauty and uniqueness. It is not because of the distraction it makes from our own mortality and blows away all the thoughts about our death in that particular moment of enjoyment. And it also doesn't earn my highest compliment of all times just because it gives me comfort and solace.


But the true reason for my highest compliment is, when something or someone has the power to make the idea of death not just less terrifying, but when it makes death absolutely irrelevant.



In memories of a good friend who passed away recently – thank you Robert Beaupain for your thoughts and your awareness about our vanity. 






Considering that our life is a result of mysteriously interacting small cells and other self organised matter, including the awareness about its own existence and about the soon or later coming end of it; the most valuable(!!!) thing one can have in this period of time between the start and end of this functioning phase of self organised matter – called life – would be probably our emotions. All kinds of it. Small, big, pleasant, unpleasant, all of them.

And maybe also our memory, which can allow you to dive in to that big ocean, full of all emotions one have had in his life.

Try to gather as much of them as you can experience!  



Hewad Laraway 


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